More than a top ten list

A couple of weeks ago, James, my brother-in-law who is married to Nikki, e-mailed me about a sort of top ten list of reasons you can tell you are married to a Knight. After a couple of e-mails back and forth between James, Mike (Heidi's husband) and me, we came up with the list below. Some of them will seem kind of odd, but that's probably because you aren't married to a Knight.

"So Bryce, Mike, and I are so glad we married into the Knight family. We are especially thankful for the Knight women in our lives. While musing upon our gratitude for this particular blessing during this Thanksgiving season, we discovered a few commonalities between these special Knight women… :)

You might be married to a Knight if…

1. You own more than one of the following red items: couch, curtains, walls, doors, dishes…

2. Your wife knows where the nearest five Target locations are and the fastest routes to them, between them, during rush hour, on Saturdays at 1pm…

3. Your wife sends you to Walmart when she is compelled to purchase items there because they are currently out of stock at the nearest five Targets.

4. Your wife calls her sisters to notify them of Target sales locally and to see if the same sale is going on in their end of the US, and asks them to purchase things on sale there and ship them to her (even though this may actually end up costing more (not including time)… that’s not the point, the point is, “I got such a good deal on it!”)

5. Your wife has recently composed a sonnet, blog, or ode to Target. http://randlereruns.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-may-have-mentioned-it-before-but-i.html

6. Your wife can't manage to write a blog without including (have I mentioned I LOVE Target?!)

7. As a last tribute to Target related humor… “We believe that Target is the only place to shop; we believe in all that Target has released on clearance, all that is now on clearance, and we believe Target will yet release on clearance many great and important things pertaining to my house decor; Perdition, thy name be Wal Mart, Amen.”

8. Everything is SOooooo cute! especially baby clothes from Gymboree or amazing deals from a craft store.

9. Your wife buys things she already has because they’ve gone more on sale and she can now return them to get an additional 25 cents off (notice this one may happen multiple times for the same item, for example, if it continues to decrease in price over a one year period)

10. …if you’ve ever heard your wife say, “Oh my Heck!” when frustrated.

11. Your wife secretly wants to name your next kid Bono or Edge (maybe just as a middle name) (and in the case of Natalie – Bowser)

12. Waking your wife up from a nap necessitates wearing a facemask, cup, defensive attack dog training gloves and steel-toed boots. Not to mention an up-to-date last will and testament

13. If you happen to have strawberries in your fridge, regardless of the season, price of the strawberries, or quality

14. If the only thing colder than your wife's hands are her feet, and the only thing colder than your wife's feet is liquid nitrogen or perhaps the dark side of the moon.

15. If you have an entire cupboard set apart for chocolate chips; alternately, your food storage might consist primarily of chocolate chips.

16. If you've received the evil eye for teasing…

17. "Yous guys" come up now and then.

18. If 'Quest Voice' means something to you (a special tone of voice reserved for the damned)

19. There is only one word for how food tastes when it is good "Tasty"

20. Your mother-in-law often uses the phrase give me peace! in a her best Minnie mouse voice.

21. Your wife purses her lips and has a very serious stare while fixing her hair or applying makeup in the mirror

22. You’re the luckiest guy on earth

We realize that we haven’t even considered all the shoe-related indicators, but the list was already getting pretty long, so we’ve decided to reserve shoe-humor for later."