So if you know Nancy and I well, you know that we are not fans of Wal-Mart. I don't know where the people come from that frequent Wal-Mart, but they don't seem to be the people next door. We would much rather go to Target. People say Wal-Mart is cheaper, but it really isn't. It's either the same or more. Go look for yourself. Really.
One of my favorite things to do after a Wal-Mart trip is imitate the parents I overhear in the store. So here is a list of the top three things I hear in a Wal-Mart store.
1) "You're embarrassing us both!"
This usually comes after the child is dragging on the floor and asking for something. The mother, fed up with this inexplicable behavior, starts to yell at the child. After about 2 minutes of drawing attention to herself, the mother, at the top of her lungs, yells my favorite Wal-Mart Mom phrase. No Wal-Mart Mom, you're just embarrassing yourself.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Top Three Sayings I Hear at Wal-Mart
2) "Don't you ever ask for Lunchables again!"
"You never finish them!" This one is funny because I only got lunchables when I went on a field trip. They aren't practical or even good. I am pretty sure they cost more than a school lunch. However, they just seem so enticing (when you are seven). I heard this one tonight.
3) "But you have six dollars in your purse right now..."
This one is funny to us too. I mostly think it is humorous because I remember saying it. Groceries vs. X-Men cards. Mom has six bucks. My cards costs $5.99. Works for me. Anyone else remember picking up a toy and asking your mom if you could buy it knowing that the money to pick up the cost of the item was safely guarded in your mom's wallet. You know. You checked before you went to the store. And if you were smart enough, you took the liberty of putting that twenty into the overall pocket before you even went to the store. That way you can show her the money when you present the item you want.
You get the drift. Am I alone here?
Posted by Bryce at 9:08 PM
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10 comments:
great classics. I love it! That's why I avoid walmart at all costs. But I do hate it when I'm in target and Max starts to scream and I suddenly feel like a walmart transplant. That's not fun.
Haha, great post.
The only one I'm familiar with is the first one, and I doubly agree with your statement that it's only the parents who are being embarrassed. Even if the parent isn't freaking ou, whenever I see a rowdy child my initial reaction is to wonder what his/her parents' teaching methods are (which sometimes isn't fair to think, but I'm being honest).
So...I think that I prefer the crying child that has a slurpee in their hands (or any other food that my parents never bought for me). Just the other day I was at Wal-Mart and a kid wanted Butterfingers and then the Mom showed that she had already gotten them but the bigger version and the kid cried because they wanted the bite size.
This isn't technically a "saying," but I love it when you have that one jerk who parks diagonally across the entire aisle!! And then, to top it off, when you move their cart or squeeze by them, you get this really nasty look that makes you think this is your fault. Diagonally-parking-jerk-person, there's a nice place in hell reserved for you!
b marshall, I agree! It's quite a funny sight.
I imagine my opinion of this will be humbled and more empathetic when I am a parent, but that is another example of a time where I, as an uninvolved onlooker, would think to myself, "Is this really happening? Is that kid really so spoiled that he isn't content with the SIZE of the treat his mother is getting him?" And then I would imagine what I would do in that parent's situation, which would be to put even the BIG-sized candy bar back on the shelf and get the kid out of the store. But, like I said, my heart will probably be softened when it's my own kids. Plus, who knows what that mother/kid were going through (perhaps the child was already very emotional/sensitive for other, better reasons).
But, taking the situation at face value, it is indeed comical.
yay! You tamed the paragraphs!! So Happy - all those tight lines make my head hurt. And I have never heard anybody ever say those things. And my kids never knew how much money I carried, and I never called it a purse, because it was too girly. And Wal-mart is so cheaper. But it just doesn't have many buyers with class. Target's groceries are pricey, pricey.
This whole thing is why I hated shopping with kids.
Sorry K. You are in the wrong here. Outvoted 6 to 1. If you would like to compare grocery price at WalMart and Target with me by your side, we can do it anytime.
K-I'm not sure who you are, but you seriously need to open your ears and eyes next time you are at the local Wal-Mart! LISTEN to the crazy-funny things being said and LOOK at the prices! There really is no comparison between Target and Wal-Mart! Target's grocery prices win on almost every single item I purchase and plus you don't have to share the aisle with the vermin that crawl out of who knows where to shop at Wal-Mart! Yikes! Please don't tell too many people though once you figure out that Target really is cheaper; I don't want to share the aisles with too many unattended bratty kids.
P.S. You just think that your kids never knew how much money was in your handbag.
I like Lunchables :(...
hey, i'm totally with you on the target thing! the sad thing is, we don't have one where i live, (in vernal). i'm having withdrawls, and i have been forced to become a wal-mart shopper. the funny thing about wal-mart in vernal.......almost everyone is wearing camoflauge, even the women. it's pretty funny.
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