I was asked to give my little cousin's eulogy at this funeral that took place yesterday. I told a few people that I would post my talk on my blog/facebook for those relatives that were not able to make it or that wanted to read it again. More on this whole story later...
Upon being appointed to take this moment to relish in the moments of Ken’s life with all present, I gathered memories from his parents, grandparents, and others that surrounded him. I pray that my words will uplift, comfort, and add to the illustrious memories we have of Ken Christian Barlow.
Ken Christian Barlow was born on December 21, 2006 on a beautiful winter morning in Provo, Utah. Our memories of him start just before he was born, as I remember Saori being notably anxious to meet Ken as any mother is who truly loves her children. On the morning of Ken’s birth, we woke up to find an e-mail from Scott proudly stating that we all had a new cousin, nephew, or grandson.
When Scott went to pick up Saori from the hospital, he asked me to watch Kai, Mia, and Kou. There was a special feeling in their house that morning. That’s what happens when everyone's new favorite family member comes home for the very first time.
As Ken started to grow, our memories of him grew as well. When he was old enough to sit up, he used to sit in his bouncer and look at you, peaceful and content. At 8 months he went from crawling to walking, and gave the family a run for his money as they hurried to again baby-proof the house from a walking child that would touch nearly everything.
At family parties, Ken was shy, and mostly wanted to be held by his Dad or a trusted family member. But as he came into the house, everyone would yell, “Baby Ken!” and welcome him to the party. Once you got him away from clinging onto Dad, he would involve you in one of his games by either shooting you with an empty squirt gun and waiting for a reaction, or tossing a ball back and forth. His uncles, cousins and grandparents would laugh and play along as Ken giggled with a large, toothy smile. Ken also loved the wagon rides around Grandma’s house, as one of his willing cousins would pull him along.
Ken is certainly loved by his brothers and sister. Kai, Mia, and Kou looked for hugs from him as they came in the door from school. Sometimes they had to wait until he woke up from his nap. But, as soon as they were reunited, he had trouble leaving them alone. Kou, because of his troubles pronouncing the letter "k," called Ken "Ten” and thus Ken’s family nickname was created.
A personal favorite memory of mine was when Kou used to take Ken's hand and wave to himself saying "Hi Po!" Mia would look after Ken like a mini-mommy, and their parents appreciated her stepping up to change diapers, getting him something to eat, or helping him to watch his favorite TV show. My favorite thoughtful question from Mia was when she asked Scott and Saori, “Why does Ken look like a Chinese baby?” Nonetheless, Ken loved the same toys that he saw his brothers play with. Whether a lightsaber, sword, lego, toy gun, or matchbox car, he wanted it if his older brothers had it. He would also sit with Kai and Kou while they played video games on the Wii or the computer thinking he “just had to be the next in line”, both watching and learning from them intently.
But of the most loved toys, it was the ball that set him apart from his siblings. He loved the basketball, football, tennis ball, soccer ball, or any other ball whether hard or soft or small or large. Lately Ken was able to dribble for a few seconds, throw overhand, and kick like a semi-pro soccer player. This always made his Dad beam proudly. At two years old, he seemed quite athletic, and felt most comfortable and confident holding and throwing a ball anywhere he went.
One day when Ken was still younger, I remember Saori being excited because Ken had started eating real people food. We then looked on as Ken ate an entire Costco chocolate muffin all by himself. Those muffins, a Nutella sandwich, or a bowl of chocolate flake cereal turned into his favorite breakfast meal. He of course graduated to everything else the family ate, and his favorite foods included Japanese sticky rice and Dad’s grilled chicken. I’m sure that his favorite part of that grilled chicken was grabbing his shoes and following his daddy out to the grill to help out.
As many of you know, Scott works downstairs in the basement, and Ken took advantage of where his dad worked as much as possible. He had just learned to open the office door and tried many times to make himself Daddy's assistant. Ken would run in if the door was open, give his Dad a hug, and help him by gathering papers from the printer or sit quietly on his lap for a few minutes until it was time for a conference call or getting back to email. Scott would also send him off on a special assignment to color on blank paper if he needed some enticing to move back upstairs. When Ken found Scott was out of the office, he would mimic Scott by pretending to type up important memos on the laptop or organize his office by pulling expense reports or other work papers from a briefcase mistakenly left open.
When it was time for a nap, or for bed, Ken did so a bit stubbornly. He didn’t care much for sleeping, yet dozed off after a few minutes of crying. During the last few months, Ken could be talked into going quietly after giving everyone in the family a hug and kiss and telling them individually “goodnight”. Scott also helped by flicking the room lights on and off, or saying to Ken, “No crying” until he laughed and repeated “No crying” back to him. While lying in bed, Ken would take his pointer finger to his top lip, and rubbing his finger back and forth, massage and comfort himself until he fell asleep.
While Ken was recovering from the flu, he never gave up his smile. Saori would try to comfort him before falling asleep, Ken would rub his upper lip, and when asked if he was OK, Ken would look up, gather his strength, and give her the best and biggest smile he could offer. He truly cared to comfort her in his anguish by silently saying “I’m hanging in there Mom.”
Ken will be remembered for his smile, laughter and loving attitude in our family. His countenance lit up the room and brightened your spirit.
Sometime early Wednesday morning on February 25th, after Saori checked on him at 2 am, and what seemed to be him sleeping soundly, he had slipped away quietly and returned to our Father in Heaven. Just as he came home from the hospital for the first time to a happy family, he returned to his Heavenly home in that same manner. There is no doubt that Ken is a cherished son and brother. He was loved as much by his earthly parents as he is by His Heavenly Father.
Let us always remember him at his happiest and healthiest and in his laughter, so that this memory will bring us comfort as he associates with and befriends his loved ones that have passed before us. His early passing should encourage us to live life to the fullest and that we should love those around us for the time that we remain on Earth, with confidence and faith in Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
It is an honor to know such an innocent, beautiful and happy son, brother, grandson, and cousin. May the Holy Spirit of our loving, understanding Heavenly Father comfort us as we think of him, miss him, and love him until our sweet day of reunion.
